Monday, 14 December 2015

Happy Birthday to me

Another year has gone by,
and, I hope I have become a little wiser.
This past year has definitely been a year to  reflect on so many things.
It was a year plagued by bad luck, stress, rebuilding and moving forward.

I have come to realize that there is a certain resilience within me,
a resilience to be happy, 
to experience joy and to appreciate all that is good.
I suppose, it is a stubbornness to simply be happy.
I truly believe that every day, is a good day.

This past year has taught me a little about humility.
After the fire, the outpouring of love, kindness, letters and donations was very touching.
I am not a very demonstrative person, I do not like to lean on others and feel that I need to be able to do things alone or within our  small family.
It made me feel awkward that so many people jumped into action to help us,
I was unsure how to deal with it.
I was overwhelmed with this show of kindness from  our local community,
 to complete strangers.
It was humbling to me.
It was a lesson in letting go and allowing others to show kindness, accepting help and to feel their sincere well wishes.

Thank you to everyone.

So often, we feel alone in our sadness.
I learnt that my grief, was not just my own.
My sadness about the pups that died, was not only mine;
 it was heartbreaking to see Roy looking for the pups on the morning of the fire,
 it was heartbreaking to inform the other puppy owners that their pup had died,
they too felt grief and sadness.
My grief, was their grief,
my sadness was their sadness.

 I am rather awkward when it comes to friendships.
This past year made me see that some of the people,
(even, if they are "only" Facebook friends),
have become part of my circle of people whom I regard as friends.
They are part of "my" community, they share in my joys, sadness, laugh at my lame jokes, share ideas, motivate me and inspire me,
and endlessly "like" all my dog photo's.
I have had the privilege this past year to meet some of my Facebook friends, face to face.
I hope that next year, that circle will expand and that I will be able to meet a few more.

So, a new year  has dawned for me,
a year filled with anticipation and always a little trepidation.
I like to dream big, 
make elaborate plans, 
but,  often doubt myself and my abilities.
Perhaps, this will be the year for new and great things,
and if not,
I am sure the planning and the journey in itself  will be as much fun!

"There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope."
~Bernard Williams

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